Where did the school year go? And how is it June already?

So Coulby is no longer a Kindergartner and will enter the world of a big first grader at the start of the next school year. Whew! First grade? And 6-years-old? I cannot believe that time has

gone by so quickly. Coulby woke up from sleep last night and came to lay beside me in bed. He slid into bed next to me and I swear when he stretched out alongside me he was as tall as me already. Guess that is really not too hard to fathom considering I am only 5'4". Or I thought I was until I was at the doctor's office the other day and the nurse declared me 5'3". Either I am shrinking or I have never, ever been 5'4" and have been under the misconceived notion that I was an inch closer to the sky than I really am. Whatever. So anyway, Coulby is tall and growing up and is not my little Kindergartner anymore. I say goodbye to yet another school year and wonder how I got left in the dust.

And now it is time to kick off summer break. It is a little different a kick off this year with me working full-time again and with...hmm...the upheaval of life. In so many ways. And speaking of working full-time again, this working mom thing takes a lot of getting used to. I still think being a stay-at-home mom is one of the toughest jobs in the world, but being a working mom is kinda hard too. Kinda really is not the word. It is damn hard! Difficult in different ways than staying at home with your kids is difficult. I am getting into a groove though, and really, I am finding that I am actually getting more done now than I did as a stay-at-home mom. How is that possible? I guess because I know I only have two days a week to get things done, along with a handful of hours each evening after work. I have to get it all done in that little bit of time, so even when I am dead tired, I push myself just a little bit more to do it. And I am exhausted. But I am also okay with that. Caroline is liking school. Coulby is looking forward to going to mommy's school this summer. And I am liking the paycheck. So it is a good change for all of us. Just a little different, that's all.

Coulby finished up the school year having had a pretty good go of things both academically and with his health. I mean, he did get sick a lot, and many of those times were back to back illnesses that almost drove us to our breaking points, but overall he was healthy. The fact that he did not end up hospitalized as a result of every illness is huge. Yeah, the February hospitalization was tough, but Coulby got through it and was not in and out of Hopkins as a result of every cold and cough that he encountered. I hope that his experience in first grade will be the same. He does have a scheduled Hopkins appointment on Tuesday, so he starts summer break off like that, which will hopefully yield good numbers. (*Fingers crossed*)

I am not sure what this summer will bring, but I hope for good things. Like swimming and ice cream and bumming it at the beach and cookouts and cold drinks (preferably of the adult kind, but whatever). This summer will be different, but I do know that "different" is not always bad. I hope that the kids, and myself for that matter, will find "different" to have positive implications.

Winter Wonderland

Winter induces that comatose-like state only achieved after self indulgence. You know, that feeling you get after you leave an all-you-can-eat restaurant? Or right after Thanksgiving dinner? Yeah, you know it. That slow, sluggish, lazy state of being. And I hate that feeling! I like to be busy and move around and feel productive. By the time the first daffodils start peeking through the ground and the first buds begin appearing on trees, I am in danger of losing my sanity after spending a long Winter indoors. Okay, okay, a little dramatic, I know. Let me just put it on record that I am not a big fan of Winter. Too cold. Too many layers of clothing. Kinda dreary. Short days. Chapped lips. Dry skin. Cabin fever. The whammy: too many germs! I would not say that I hate Winter, but I.DO.NOT.LIKE.IT!

With the huge blast of Winter weather that has so graciously dumped mid-thigh-high snow (yes, I am short!) across Maryland, the comatose state has graduated to delirium. The kids have been cooped up in the house for days on end...hence the delirium. I have cleaned up the same toys about a million times. I have broken up the same fight about two million. I have bundled and unbundled each kid in layers of snow clothes I do not even know how many times now. I have watched 'The Incredibles' the whole way through about 2 times a day. I hear shrieks and cries and squeals and "Mommmmyyyy!" in my sleep. I am edgy and jumpy and irritable and wound up tighter than Coulby's bongo. And at the same time, I am also finding humor in it all. Because at a certain point, everything becomes humorous. I have to laugh...that or I will cry!

How many days are there until the official calendar start of Spring? Of course I do know that it does not mean all of the cold weather magically dissipates on March 20, but at least it is Spring. But since there is still snow on the ground, and snow falling from the sky as I type, I did break out the camera and my new macro lens (thanks, dad!) to try to capture the anatomy of a snowflake. So far no luck. Have you ever really studied a snowflake? Caught one on your sleeve and looked at its pattern? I would love to have that permanently frozen in a photo.

So now that I have professed my undying love for snow and Winter and cold (ha), I should emphasize that Coulby is healthy and home to enjoy the snow. Ultimately, no matter the weather, that is the most important thing. I complain, but I am also celebrating that I am stuck at home watching the snow come down rather than having to watch it from a permanently-stuck-shut hospital room window. I will gladly trade productivity for laziness; my sanity for delirium. If it means all of my family is home, happy and healthy, bring it on!

You ROCK, mommy!

I am reveling in the fact that my son actually thinks I am cool...for now. I know that very soon I will be old, uncool, out of style, boring, dorky...you get the gist. So when Coulby looked at me the other day and said, "Guess what. You ROCK, mommy!," it made me stop in my tracks to say, with as much surprise as gratitude, "Thanks, Coulby!" Coulby's exclamation surprised me because I did not know he even knew that expression, and rendered me speechless because no one has thought of me that way in F-O-R-E-V-E-R. Those days of being cool seemed to be long gone. And now my son thinks I rock! I will take it while I can.

The ironic part about it all is that I think Coulby rocks! He is such an awesome kid, and I am not just saying that because he is my son. He just rocks. Coulby has endured more, experienced more, suffered more, and overcome more than most kids his age. And he has done it all with grace. And a little bit of attitude. I give him that because, well, he has earned it.

Coulby started kindergarten in August, and as much as I hated seeing him get on the bus to ride into the deep blue germ-infested yonder, I knew he needed that. My stomach got tied up in knots knowing that he would be in school all day this school year, and therefore exposed to a full day's worth of germs instead of only a pre-k 2.5 hours' worth. But Coulby loves school. I mean absolutely loves it! I knew my fears of germs and illness could not, no, would not, get in the way of Coulby's natural progression to the next step in his education. So off he went.

No one knows what it is like to have thoughts of kids coughing without covering their mouths, or sneezing into the open air, or wiping snotty noses with their hands and then touching everything around them, swirling through the brain. Thoughts of colds and flu, especially the hyped-up H1N1 virus. That is what I think about all the time. Protecting Coulby from all of that. Ways that I can teach him to stay clean and healthy. Ways that I can teach him to avoid everyone who appears to be ill. But how can I do that? I mean without putting the poor kid in a bubble?

Despite all of my best efforts to keep germs at bay, Coulby brought home a nasty cold several weeks in to school. He made it through that like a champ. Then on Thursday morning he woke up warm to the touch. His temperature was 101.2 and he complained of a stomach ache. When I told Coulby that he had to stay home from school that day, while masking my worry that kicks in whenever Coulby gets sick, he retracted his complaints of a stomach ache and said he was fine. He actually started crying because I would not let him go to school. That is how much he loves it! (We shall see if that lasts into the next several years when he is bringing home school work and studying for tests.) Coulby seemed to look a little more tired than usual, with puffy red rings under his eyes, but other than that, I would not have known he was sick. He was playing, talking, running around, and still had an appetite. Then I got a call. One of the kids in his class was confirmed to have H1N1. My stomach was suddenly full of butterflies.

My body went into overdrive after that phone call. Calls to the geneticist, calls to the dietitian, Internet searches on symptoms of swine flu...anything that I thought would help us get through this illness at home. And we did! Coulby had a fever for days that only broke yesterday evening, and has maintained his normal energy level during the whole thing. This has been another obstacle overcome, at home, by my brave boy.

And to this I say, "You ROCK, Coulby!"