There goes my baby...

Everyone told me time would fly by. That he would grow up fast. Not to wish the days away because they would be over before I could blink. Of course I half listened. He was an infant and I would rock him to sleep only to have him pop his eyes open the second his sleeping body hit the crib. I knew it would be like that forever. Sleepless nights that left mama and baby exhausted and in tears were something I got used to. Bottles and wipes and diapers and snacks and extra changes of clothes and toys were permanent decorations in the house and car. I carried him on my hip most days and it was a perfect fit, not to mention an upper body workout. And then, one day, he put himself to sleep with no rocking necessary. He decided that nighttime was made for sleeping. Sippy cups replaced bottles, underwear replaced diapers, clothes got bigger and toys more high tech and expensive. And that perfect fit? It is sadly no longer. I should have listened.

Coulby started first grade at the end of August and I am lamenting his infancy. The adjustment to knowing my oldest is now a first grader has been way more difficult for me than sending him off to either preschool or Kindergarten. Why? Well, look at him! He is a little man! I swear he grows right before my eyes!

I guess I just never thought this day would sneak up on me so quickly. There were times when Coulby was a baby that I was not even sure I would send him to public school. The thought of exposing him to so many illnesses terrified me. My plan was to protect Coulby's health and keep my sanity intact by secluding him from any and all threats. I would have done him such a huge injustice in doing so. He loves school. It suits him.

Now I repeat the advice given to me because my baby is growing up way too quickly for my liking. And every time I pass it along I want to roll my eyes because I know how it sounds; that it is meaningless to the sleep-deprived, frazzled mother with a baby on her hip. But I say them anyway because eventually, for all of the mama's out there, these words ring true.

Just a Reminder...

I woke up this morning to the sun shining and the promise of another great beach day. And while I know to appreciate every day that I have in this world, not just the ones that I have on vacation, I fall into the same rut as the rest of us. Knowing that I have it good and taking it for granted. Knowing that I have a life full of miracles and not quite making the most of them every day. Do not get me wrong, because I DO count my blessings every time I look into my sweet boy's eyes. I know what I could be missing if things had gone differently at the beginning of his life. But it is human nature to take for granted what you have...until it's gone. So I posted this quote as my Facebook status for the day, not knowing how poignant the words would be by the end of the day: "Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed." ~Wayne Dyer

And today could be your last. Life can be over in a flash. In so many different ways. I have vacationed in the Outer Banks of North Carolina every summer for the last 18 years, with my parents as a child, and now with my own children. Every summer I know going into the ocean that there are great risks in doing so. Sharks (*shudder*), rip currents, rogue waves. And I do take those risks seriously. I do respect the ocean. But I, like so many, believe that nothing will happen to me. Because I am careful. I am aware of the risks. That makes me invincible, right? I think that is human nature to conjure those thoughts.

I believe that the couple I watched die on the beach today probably believed the same things. Yes, I said I watched a couple die in front of me today. And I am forever changed for it. I did not know them. But they were loved by someone. They were parents. A sister. A brother. Friends to someone. To many, probably. And they went into the ocean to swim. Such a simple mission that ended in such tragedy. I watched as strangers swam out in an attempt to help strangers swept out by the power of the ocean currents. I watched as lifeguards plunged into the ocean to save lives. I watched as four people were pulled to shore, two gray and lifeless. And I watched as teams of paramedics worked for ten minutes straight trying, to no avail, to resuscitate a man and his wife. Two lives taken by a rip current. In an instant. Life is so fleeting. And these are moments that remind me of that truth.

I was deeply disturbed by what happened today, not just because of what I witnessed, but because I know it could have happened to anyone. To me, even. We were out in the ocean today too. WITH the kids! (As an aside: They do wear life vests whenever they are even near the ocean...by far the best investments we have ever made!) But I guess today was not my time. So now I will take the events of today with me for life and use them to count my blessings. To be thankful for every day that I have. For all of the people in my life.

How to Save a Life

"Mommy! Come here! I have to show you something!" he shrieks in excitement. I prepare myself for the "mommy reaction." You know, the act-like-it-is-the-coolest-thing-ever reaction you give your kids when they do something they believe no one else has ever done. In that one moment my kids can feel like a king or queen. Love it! Anyway...I follow Coulby, who is practically skipping with excitement, out to the garage and, pointing with enthusiasm, he says,"Look! Look what I found! It's a hummingbird!" No way! Not again. But there it was. This tiny little thing covered in spiderwebs from beak to wings just sitting on the garage floor. This is the second hummingbird to find its way into the garage this summer. Not quite sure what they think is so appealing in a garage full of clutter and spiderwebs, but whatever. Coulby was ecstatic that he had found this hummingbird and that we were going to save it.

I scooped the bird up gently and carried it into the house. Not sure if it was on its way out of this world, I told the kids that we could try to give it hummingbird nectar to help it fly again. The bird was so still in my hand, and its eyes were closed. But the second I started trying to get the spiderwebs off of its wings, it came to life and took flight in my kitchen. Kind of a drowsy flight, but it managed to perch on the top of the window. By this time the cat was trying to get in on the action, so I got the bird in my hand yet again and held it closed this time. Coulby really wanted to hold it, and I was a little hesitant, but the look on his face was one of such excitement that I couldn't resist. He was so gentle with the bird and tried to pet it while Caroline looked on like a little mama, talking to the bird so it knew it was okay and that we were going to save him (or her...not quite sure).

We managed to get the hummingbird to drink some nectar (Pennington pre-made is the BEST!) and when I took it outside and opened up my hand, it took flight. I watched it fly high into the sky until it disappeared in the distance. And while I loved getting the opportunity to hold this feathered friend, let my children hold it and recharge its energy, I hope he does not come back to visit.

This was a bright spot in the weekend for the kids and myself. That and the fact that Coulby is getting through another illness at HOME! He started complaining of a sore throat around last Thursday, was waking up in the night Thursday night into the early hours of Friday morning, and had started with decreased appetite somewhere in between all of this. There was obviously something going on, but we did not know what until late Friday afternoon. I had thought nothing of the sore throat until little reddish bumps resembling bug bites started popping out on Coulby's ankles, the bottoms of his feet and around his hands. He had the telltale sores in the back of his throat, common to Hand, Foot and Mouth disease. UGH!!!!

So I know it sounds horrible to call it a disease, but that is how it is is referred. And it is running rampant in the childcare center where I am working. It started in the infants room (and yeah, that is where I am...of course!). Despite my greatest efforts to clean and sanitize absolutely EVERYTHING in the room about a million times, it still managed to make its way up to the school-age classroom upstairs. Go figure. And of course Coulby would get it. I kind of anticipated it and hoped for it to bypass my little man, but no such luck. While most of the babies have had fevers along with the bumps and sores, Coulby never presented with fever (whew!) We are about 4 days in and he seems to be getting better, despite a continued decreased appetite. Hopefully that will pick up again soon. Really that has been the most stressful thing about this illness. That and his restless nights. But the eating thing is always worrisome.

I do feel lucky every time Coulby gets sick and can stay home through it all. I know that things could be way worse. While it is no fun for Coulby to be sick, and it usually means less sleep for all of us, at least he is home. Lost sleep is easy to remedy, and a small price to pay for Coulby's good health.

It ain't easy being cheesy!...OR...Say cheese!...OR...The adventures of Coulby and the twisted cheese curls!

Cheese curls are not my thing. I am more of a Cheetos girl. But that does not matter when Coulby is in a cheese curls phase. 'Cheese curls phase' = Coulby WILLINGLY eating excessive amounts of cheese curls. And this means that he is getting not only protein to easily help meet his daily protein requirements, but also all of the calories that cheese curls have to offer...which are a lot. Coulby liking cheese curls makes life a lot easier because we have a sure thing to feed him that makes the job of meeting his dietary needs easier. MUCH easier, truth be told.



And these are no ordinary cheese curls. They are TWISTED cheese curls. These spiral things that look cool and take up a lot of room in the bag to make it look full even though it is not (one of the most annoying things about any bag of chips, really). 28g of cheese curls = 1.8g of protein and 160 calories. Coulby can eat about 75g or so in one sitting...about 429 calories! *Gasp* Guess most parents would be horrified that their child was consuming that many calories from cheese curls. But not parents of children with UCDs. The more calories the better. Kind of a foreign concept in this world of over-consumption and gluttony.



Not only does Coulby love cheese curls...twisted...but he makes sure he gets every last little bit of cheesy coating at the bottom of the bag. Kinda gross, but whatever works. Hence the above photo. That was Coulby post-empty-cheese-curl-bag. He had this cheesy beard and mustache going on that, while disgusting, was also very photo-worthy. I did not capture it well enough to do it justice, but the cheese was coated on his face, fingers and body pretty good. I could not be happier that there is something that I KNOW he will eat if nothing else. Until he gets tired of the twisted cheese curls, they will stock the pantry shelves.



On another note, Coulby had a Hopkins appointment yesterday. And his ammonia was...(drum roll)...29!! Yay! A number we can work with for sure! He has gained weight (thanks to twisted cheese curls, no doubt) and had an overall good check-up. Good news is always nice to report. A relief. A reminder of Coulby's miraculous life.

Life, Love and all things worth LOVING and LIVING for...

On LIFE:

"Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror."

~Byrd Baggett

On LOVE:

"You come to love not by finding the perfect person,but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly."

~Sam Keen

On FRIENDSHIP:

"A friend is one to whom one can pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keeping what is worth keeping, and, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away."

~Arabian Proverb

On CHILDREN:

"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."

~Angela Schwindt

On OPTIMISM:

"The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser-in case you thought optimism was dead."

~Robert Brault